Finding Peace In Different Places

I read an article today from LDS Living titled, "Why I Left the Church Is Also Why I'm Going Back" by M.C. Sutton. A woman shares her experience of falling away from the church, the struggles she had emotionally, physically, psychologically and the process of returning back to the church. Immediately I felt drawn to this article and I didn't know why but as I read it my heart went out to this woman and her family.

One section towards the end in particular stood out to me,

"Establishing Peace with My Imperfections

I have to let go of what I think I want. I have to let go of my vision of the way things are supposed to be. I have to let go of my expectations and inhibitions. I have to let go of my understandings and interpretations. I have to let go of my imaginary control. I have to let go of how I think things should play out and trust that the person who is in charge knows what He's doing.

I never understood until the moment I came to that realization, what it truly meant to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Because of my prideful and rebellious personality, I quite literally had to be slammed against the shore before I'd ever figure it out. Ultimately, I left the Church because I thought I wasn't good enough. What I didn't know was, I wasn't there because I was a leader or an inspiration. I wasn't there just so that others could learn from me. I wasn't there to share my vast knowledge and insight. I wasn't there because I was perfect.

I was there because I wasn't.

And I was there because, through Him, I still could be."

Even though I haven't had the same struggles that this author has experienced I can still relate to the seeking of peace for my imperfections. I still need to be reminded that I can't worry myself sick over things and that I am never alone in my journey of becoming more like the Savior. My Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ are always there. They are in charge, just like the article said, "I have to let go of how I think things should play out and trust that the person who is in charge knows what He's doing."

Initially as I read the title of this article my thought was, "Why would I read this? I can't relate to this woman at all." I was very wrong. We are ALL children of God. We all have struggles, trials and discouraging days. We all feel sad, overwhelmed and inadequate at times. One beautiful thing about this life is that not only do we have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior to help us along the way, we have each other. We can support and lift each other up during those times of hardship. 

I'm sure that this article was not easy for this woman to write but I am so grateful she did. I'm grateful she was willing to share these personal experiences so that others can learn and grow from her testimony. I'm grateful for the prompting I received to read it and I'm grateful for the peace I felt as I was reminded again of the love my Heavenly Father and Savior have for me and for EVERYONE. 

I'm grateful for sweet moments of peace and love that come at such unsuspecting times.  

-Holly-