Resolution.
res-o-lu-tion: The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination. A resolving to do something. A course of action determined or decided on.
I've always been one to sit down on new years eve and make a loooong resolution list of everything I want to accomplish in the next year. Sometimes I accomplished my goals. Most of the time I succeeded for about a week and then failed miserably.
This year I didn't realize what I wanted to work on till a special experience opened my eyes to how blind I'd been the past few months and how much I had been missing out on.
Last semester (Fall 2013) I was a bitter person. I had the hardest time allowing myself to see the good in any situation. I was a grumpy old fart to my husband and all my tenants...basically anyone around me. I was so pessimistic about everything. All I could think about was getting out of Rexburg...away from school...away from managing. I just wanted to be done with this stage of my life. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted Kevin to be done with school and not have to worry about homework or maintenance for the complex. My heart was filled with anger and impatience.
I didn't realize how bad I was feeling till the end of the semester. Kevin and I went to Idaho Falls to go to the temple with my family while we were all together for the Holiday Break. I was so excited to be with my family in such a sacred, holy place. I love the temple and the peace it brings to me heart. I needed that peace. My mom surprised my sister in law by inviting her whole family to be there as well. Since there was so many of us we couldn't fit in a session so we split up into about five groups to do sealings instead. I was with Kevin, Danny, Melissa, my mom and dad, and Melissa's sister Jana.
It was so special getting to experience that with them. As I was sitting in the room I had a hard time focusing. My mind kept wandering to all sorts of things...Check ins, Kevin starting school, babies..blah blah blah. I tried really hard to clear my mind and focus on my surroundings. I was sitting next to my dad when I looked down at his hands. I noticed how worn they looked. Callused from years of hard work. Memories flooded through me of when I was little holding that hand and feeling so much comfort. I thought about my mom and dad being young parents, raising my brother, sisters, and I. It hit me that my parents had been in my shoes at one time. A young married couple. Going to school. Living pay check to pay check. They have accomplished so much in their life. They raised 4 children and are now grandparents to 5 beautiful grand children. They have experienced so much heart ache and trial but have also been blessed beyond measure.
Tears filled my eyes as these thoughts raced through my head. Time goes by so fast. I realized I had been so intense about getting through this time in my life that I was missing what was happening right in front of me. I have an amazing husband and family that loves me. I have this amazing job that has blessed our lives in so many ways. How could I lose sight on these amazing blessings happening? I know that we can't always live in the moment. We need to have an eternal perspective on life. But these small moments I was ignoring and missing were shaping me into what I was going to become.
As I sat there in the temple that night reflecting on the past few months of my life I realized what I needed to do. I needed to make a change. I needed to embrace this time in life that I'm in. My eyes had been opened to so many lessons I needed to learn. I am so grateful my Savior gave me the chance to realize this that night.
Throughout the next week I made an effort to live in the moment. I tried to make an effort to spend time with Kevin. I tried to be more positive about my job and about our situation. I definitely still have things to improve on but I can truly say I am grateful for where I am at in this stage of my life. I am grateful to be living in this beautiful town of Rexburg. I am grateful that Kevin has the opportunity to attend school. I am grateful for this managing position and the countless opportunities and blessings it has brought to Kevin and I. I am extremely blessed beyond measure and hope to be able to continue to recognize these blessings. I know that trials will still come and that hardships are still in my path, but I realize now that I can't shrink down in my shell when things get tough. I can be happy no matter the situation. I make that choice and today I choose to be happy.
2014 will bring so many amazing things. I can feel it.
res-o-lu-tion: The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination. A resolving to do something. A course of action determined or decided on.
I've always been one to sit down on new years eve and make a loooong resolution list of everything I want to accomplish in the next year. Sometimes I accomplished my goals. Most of the time I succeeded for about a week and then failed miserably.
This year I didn't realize what I wanted to work on till a special experience opened my eyes to how blind I'd been the past few months and how much I had been missing out on.
Last semester (Fall 2013) I was a bitter person. I had the hardest time allowing myself to see the good in any situation. I was a grumpy old fart to my husband and all my tenants...basically anyone around me. I was so pessimistic about everything. All I could think about was getting out of Rexburg...away from school...away from managing. I just wanted to be done with this stage of my life. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted Kevin to be done with school and not have to worry about homework or maintenance for the complex. My heart was filled with anger and impatience.
I didn't realize how bad I was feeling till the end of the semester. Kevin and I went to Idaho Falls to go to the temple with my family while we were all together for the Holiday Break. I was so excited to be with my family in such a sacred, holy place. I love the temple and the peace it brings to me heart. I needed that peace. My mom surprised my sister in law by inviting her whole family to be there as well. Since there was so many of us we couldn't fit in a session so we split up into about five groups to do sealings instead. I was with Kevin, Danny, Melissa, my mom and dad, and Melissa's sister Jana.
It was so special getting to experience that with them. As I was sitting in the room I had a hard time focusing. My mind kept wandering to all sorts of things...Check ins, Kevin starting school, babies..blah blah blah. I tried really hard to clear my mind and focus on my surroundings. I was sitting next to my dad when I looked down at his hands. I noticed how worn they looked. Callused from years of hard work. Memories flooded through me of when I was little holding that hand and feeling so much comfort. I thought about my mom and dad being young parents, raising my brother, sisters, and I. It hit me that my parents had been in my shoes at one time. A young married couple. Going to school. Living pay check to pay check. They have accomplished so much in their life. They raised 4 children and are now grandparents to 5 beautiful grand children. They have experienced so much heart ache and trial but have also been blessed beyond measure.
Tears filled my eyes as these thoughts raced through my head. Time goes by so fast. I realized I had been so intense about getting through this time in my life that I was missing what was happening right in front of me. I have an amazing husband and family that loves me. I have this amazing job that has blessed our lives in so many ways. How could I lose sight on these amazing blessings happening? I know that we can't always live in the moment. We need to have an eternal perspective on life. But these small moments I was ignoring and missing were shaping me into what I was going to become.
As I sat there in the temple that night reflecting on the past few months of my life I realized what I needed to do. I needed to make a change. I needed to embrace this time in life that I'm in. My eyes had been opened to so many lessons I needed to learn. I am so grateful my Savior gave me the chance to realize this that night.
Throughout the next week I made an effort to live in the moment. I tried to make an effort to spend time with Kevin. I tried to be more positive about my job and about our situation. I definitely still have things to improve on but I can truly say I am grateful for where I am at in this stage of my life. I am grateful to be living in this beautiful town of Rexburg. I am grateful that Kevin has the opportunity to attend school. I am grateful for this managing position and the countless opportunities and blessings it has brought to Kevin and I. I am extremely blessed beyond measure and hope to be able to continue to recognize these blessings. I know that trials will still come and that hardships are still in my path, but I realize now that I can't shrink down in my shell when things get tough. I can be happy no matter the situation. I make that choice and today I choose to be happy.
2014 will bring so many amazing things. I can feel it.
Until next time...
Holly
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